Numb
by Ersuela
Summary: R bordering on NC17. Songfic, yaoi, Seto/Jounouchi pairing. Not a happy fic. Kind of disturbing. O.O; Jounouchi belongs to Seto. He doesn't care; nothing matters. This was his bitter reality, and his insanity. (confusing summary, no? -_-;)


A.N: O.O;; Ahem. I wrote this because I'm very sick of everything and felt a need to vent.   
  
Dark: Or in other words...  
  
Firefly-chan: RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!  
  
Disclaimer: Nope. Better that way.  
  
WARNING: Um, yaoi? Duh? If you happen to be a narrow-minded idiot then please take a bow and make for the door. Don't forget to hit your head on the way out! *Bows* Thank you and have a good night.  
  
Numb  
By Firefly-chan  
  
Long, slender fingers tangled in unruly blonde hair.   
  
Bruised, pale skin.  
  
Cobalt locked with amber; intense.  
  
"Please," A whisper.  
  
Pushed down onto the bed, the blonde strands drifting across the pillow and mattress. The brown haired teen, the oldest one, skipped a gaze over the other beneath him. Wrapping his hand around a slender wrist, pressing deeply, as if trying to leave a mark there. The blonde whimpered slightly, casting his eyes open for a moment before closing them again, jerking his head to the side.  
  
"Open your eyes." A firm yet gentle voice commanded.  
  
They opened.  
  
"Say it," The voice spoke again, firmer. "Say it, Jounouchi."  
  
"Say what?" The other whispered, a slight smile of pain running across his lips as the brown haired boy pushed roughly down on his chest.  
  
"Say it," This time the words were ground out, harsh.  
  
The smile faded when the pressure on his chest disappeared. "Yours."  
  
"My name?"  
  
"Yours, Seto."   
  
{Bleeding, I'm crying}  
{I'm falling, I'm bleeding now}  
{Oh, bleeding, I'm crying}  
{I'm falling, I'm bleeding now}  
  
Seto tilted down slightly, lips lightly brushing over Jounouchi's own swollen ones. He slid a hand under the smaller teen's neck, pulling him up rather gently. 'Nice show, Kaiba,' Jounouchi thought dryly, opening his eyes again to meet the others. 'Now come out, dragon. Let's see you.'  
  
Seto hovered over Jounouchi for a moment, before crushing his lips up against the other. 'There you are,' The blonde thought; a silent, bitter laugh . 'There's my dragon.'  
  
He was pushed back up against the bed again, left helpless underneath the other. Seto pressed the palms of his hands up against his shoulders, letting him sink further into the mattress. Jounouchi laid there, unmoving, feeling a bit like a rag doll. Or more of a china doll. 'I'll break, Seto.' Jounouchi tilted his head up. 'China dolls are suppose to be untouchable. You're going way past that boundary.'  
  
But he supposed the brown haired boy knew this because he only hurt him worse. Gentle, at first, then rougher as time passed. Jounouchi learned that you kind of grew immune to the pain after awhile. You could stop the tears from coming after awhile. You could fake yourself into believing you wanted this after awhile. It was all one sick, twisted game inside his mind. One amusing and dark game that wove it's way into thoughts, sickening him to the point where he felt humored, almost psychotic.   
  
Jounouchi broke from his thoughts for a moment as the other entered him, flinching at the sharp pain. So no lubrication this time, eh? A part of Jounouchi wanted to kick Seto's ass while the other particularly didn't care. And the other won him over so once more he just lay there, silent again. He wouldn't speak out to Kaiba. It wouldn't do him any good in the first place. Why do something that won't have an affect? It would be undeniably pointless.  
  
{Bleeding now, I'm crying out}  
{I'm falling down and feeling nothing like}  
{Laughing now, I'm stopping now}  
{I'm reaching out and I'm feeling nothing}  
  
It had first been a violation to Jounouchi. This closeness and unbearable suffocation that Seto released on him. He wanted it gone. Far, far away from him as possible. But, of course, it did just the opposite. But he eventually broke down, which was probably what Seto was most likely expecting. There was still this tiny little part in his mind that hated himself for giving in to him. It wasn't what he had intended. He never wanted any of this. But the world wasn't fair and sometimes you had to do the things you didn't want to. Sure, you could resist but there really wouldn't be any reason to.  
  
He knew that Seto enjoyed this sense of sick power he had. Jounouchi didn't really care anymore. He might've at one point but everything he use to feel sort of went numb and dead to the world. Jounouchi barely noticed as Seto lay down next to him, slipping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer. 'Like an antiseptic,' He thought bitterly. 'Just like a drug to make me psyche out.'  
  
"Jou?" Seto whispered, lips brushing against the other's ear.  
  
But Jounouchi didn't respond, too intent on staring with amber eyes at the blank, white wall before him. In some ways, this situation would be noted as one of dark and one of light. One of suffocation, one of trespassing, and one of ravage. The blonde saw them as none. In his eyes, he saw nothing. He felt nothing. It overwhelmed him sometimes, taking him like a tidal wave and wiping him out. But he'd always return, just as apathetic as before.  
  
Before he could stop himself, quiet yet distinct laughter bubbled through his throat, emitting into the once silent air.  
  
{Yeah, you've created a rift within me}  
{Now there have been several complications}  
{That have left me feeling nothing}  
{I might say, you were wrong taking it from me}  
{Left me feeling nothing}  
  
Seto blinked down at the hysterically laughing blonde, shaking him slightly. "Jounouchi?"  
  
"It's so funny!" Jounouchi gasped through his laughter, clutching at his stomach. "It's so funny! This impact...you have on me. It's so amusing. Don't you find it funny, Seto?" He giggled, wiping at his eyes. "Why am I even asking you? You don't care."  
  
"...Jounouchi?" Seto started again slowly, confused.  
  
"You stole everything away from me." The blonde arched his back slightly, turning his amber gaze up to the other. "Everything. And I don't care. I don't *care*. You've destroyed all my reason to care. All my damned reasons!" He burst into another fit of hysterics.  
  
Seto frowned, sitting up and moving off the bed. "Jounouchi, calm down..."  
  
His laughter died down then, replaced with another blank look and a far away, glazed over one in his eyes. He didn't respond when Seto touched his shoulder, as if trying to pull him out of his thoughts. Jounouchi sank back down onto the mattress, taking in a deep, shuddering breath, and closing his eyes again. He couldn't do that. Not that. He couldn't lose his composure. Not after he'd work so hard to get to this point.   
  
"I'm okay," The blonde murmured, turning to his side. "I'm okay."  
  
He knew Seto didn't believe him. And he didn't believe himself either. He wasn't okay. He'd never be okay. This so-called sanity that he once held control over was slipping through his fingers. But it'd be fine in the end. He could just fake himself into believing that everything was just going to turn out right. He'd make himself believe he was okay. And then he'd be fine. Everything would be fine.  
  
Just fine.  
  
{Crawling now, I'm beaten down}  
{I'm tortured now and I'm feeling nothing}  
{Feeling nothing like}  
{Hunting now, I'm stalking now}  
{I'm reaching out and I'm killing nothing}  
  
Owari.  
  
End Notes: O.o? Um. Don't ask. Are you scared? Yeah? No? Okay, well, whatever.  
  
Dark: Bleh. This was strange.  
  
Firefly-chan: Yeah, I know. Ahem, anyway, review, ne? ^_^; 


End file.
